


problems

by ninata



Category: Dangan Ronpa
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair, B...boobs..??? titjobs? whats a tag for that, Blowjobs, Crossdressing, Gender Dysphoria, Internalized Transmisogyny, Other, Pre-Established Relationship, Shameless Smut, Trans girl Mondo, handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 15:03:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8757280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninata/pseuds/ninata
Summary: Mondo's complex about weakness goes a little bit deeper than he'd like to talk about. Also, his legs look great in a skirt.





	

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: i, the writer, am a transgender MAN, not a woman, but i wrote this to kind of vent out some of my own feelings of dysphoria because to me, mondo oowada is the most likely character in dangan ronpa to be transgender. i apologize for any lines that make anyone uncomfortable in advance! (feel free to point them out and i can either explain why i worded them that way or change them.)

Mondo Oowada, among many things, was a man’s man. The strongest, manliest person he knew of  _ (living) _ . He’d very consciously built up this image since he was, what? Eleven? Ten years old? Working out almost daily, riding a tricked out motorcycle, styling his hair into the perfect pompadour— yes, Mondo was what delinquents across Japan idolized.

So if you asked him why he was currently wearing a girl’s sailor uniform, he would not have an answer. He may, in fact, close his hands around your throat and shake you until you died.

_ This is a one time thing, _ he reminded himself, adjusting his slouch socks.  _ This isn’t ever gonna happen again. _ His bleached hair was loose, pulled back with a pink bow. The uniform itself was white, the collar, skirt and tie’s pink matching his bow well enough, the skirt in question a bit too short. The latter was a bit troubling for Mondo; he was overcome with the urge to tear it off and put on sweatpants, as well as use it to taunt the man waiting in the bedroom of their hotel room. He wasn’t even going to  _ think  _ about the underwear he was wearing. What was he becoming?

He’d painstakingly done his make-up, _ (which he totally didn’t already know how to do, by the way. It’s not like he practiced when he was bored) _ mascara, eyeliner and lip gloss  _ (which he just happened to own already, fuck you, fuck you twice)  _ which was all SURELY going to be wiped off after he decided he couldn’t go through with this. His grip on his manliness was loosening, and the idea of that would’ve scared him so much more if Kiyotaka wasn’t the person sitting on the bed in there.

Kiyotaka and Mondo had been dating for about two years now, so they had tried plenty of things. Mondo was by no means an innocent man; his tastes were...“interesting”, to put it in Kiyotaka’s words. The boot print bruises that were on Mondo’s chest for a time could attest to that. The rope burned wrists, too. And the— no, wait. Mondo wasn’t going to go into this. The point was, this shouldn’t have been so wild to him. It shouldn’t have been, but...

There were certain things Mondo had kept secret since he was a kid. Certain things he was told were bad. Things Daiya had told him to keep quiet if he didn’t wanna get smacked around by their asshole of a dad. Weakness, femininity; things that shouldn’t be equated with each other, but Mondo did anyway. He stared himself down in the mirror, wondering what the hell some burly guy like him was doing in a goddamn seifuku. He was still stunned that they even found a uniform in his size. He was still wondering why he was the one who suggested it, but simultaneously knew the answer.

Because he liked this.  _ Funny. _ Mondo Oowada liked being girly. How fucking hilarious.

He looked like a joke. He looked like comic relief from a bad TV show. Out of all the shit he’d done with Kiyotaka, this was the hardest on him— and yet he still wanted to walk out of the bathroom and try. Everything he’d been taught growing up was weighing down on him, but there was a small part of him that he wanted to indulge. Kiyotaka had agreed to it, after all.  _ (Pretty enthusiastically, might he add.) _

His thumb ran over the tube of lip gloss in his hand— he was just. Gonna bring this. He needed something to hold onto. He had nothing left to do in this bathroom, unless he wanted to stare at the weird shaped tub some more.  _ (Why were love hotels like this? Fucking weird.) _ This was it. He was gonna leave this bathroom, dressed up like a girl, and have to face his boyfriend.

Right. Right! Okay.

His hand was on the door handle, giving it a turn slowly. His heart was hammering in his chest hard enough to make him want to call the whole thing off, but the door gave as he pressed into it and swung open.

No going back.

His loafers scuffed against the tile as he exited the bathroom. The carpet was a bit more forgiving. Taking a deep breath, he looked up at Kiyotaka.

Kiyotaka was still where he left him before he went to change. His hands were in fists on his knees, and the look on his face was  _ priceless.  _ Eyes bugged out, face gradually turning from pink to crimson, jaw slack. That made the whole thing feel sort of worth it.

How do girls carry themselves? Mondo swayed his hips as he walked over, trying to find some confidence. He stood in front of Kiyotaka, searching for words. Finding them. Saying them without considering his dignity.

“Hey there, big guy.”

Kiyotaka blinked a few times. “I...I think I’m going to have a heart attack?”

Mondo’s confidence sputtered out of existence. “Wh— What?! Is it that bad?! S-Should I go change...?”

“No! No, please don’t! I…” Kiyotaka cleared his throat, his eyes darting from the wall to Mondo at incredible speed. “...You look  _ really _ wonderful.”

“Oh, please.” Mondo scoffed. “I look like a bad drag queen.”

“You’re beautiful.” Kiyotaka asserted. He straightened his tie— he was still in his Hope’s Peak uniform, though he’d taken off his blazer. He must’ve noticed Mondo’s distrust, because he repeated himself. “You’re absolutely  _ stunning.” _

“Then...you’re okay with all this?”

“Of  _ course  _ I am! Are you?”

“Y-Yeah. I am.” Mondo wanted to leave again; not because of any reluctance, but because the sincerity in Kiyotaka’s voice made him way too happy. He was getting embarrassed. The only way he could combat that was…

His fingers grazed the fabric of Kiyotaka’s collared shirt, setting the lip gloss next to them. One knee went on the bed, then the other, his shoes falling to the floor. He settled onto his lap, smirking as he noticed the sweat running down Kiyotaka’s neck, how the crimson in his face was slowly darkening.

“So, you think I’m pretty, huh? What’re you gonna do about that, then?”

Kiyotaka looked as if someone had just slapped an entire block of fatty tuna in front of him and told him it was on the house. He swallowed.

“I, er. I can. Kiss you?”

“You better.”

Kiyotaka cautiously put one arm around Mondo’s back, and the other low on his waist. Mondo, whose heart had slowed down in the moments before, was now a little fearful  _ he  _ was the one who was going to get a heart attack. Unsure where his hands should go, they landed on Kiyotaka’s shoulders.

Their bodies brushed against each other, a little uncertain at first. Mondo’s hand reached up to Kiyotaka’s cheek and guided their lips together. It felt— weird, kissing with lip gloss on. It wasn’t like chapstick, which was the only basis Mondo would’ve had for this kind of thing. It made their mouths slide on each other, a little sticky. He could taste it, too— when Kiyotaka’s tongue pushed past his, something sort of sweet came in with it. It made him feel...it felt  _ good  _ for some reason. Their tongues curled around each other, Mondo’s body rocking forward. It was a messy kiss, and not just because of the make up Mondo was wearing. Kiyotaka was really going for it. They were both getting enthusiastic, hands gripping a little tighter, hearts beating a little quicker, mouths moving against each other in fervor. Their kiss dragged on, and Mondo could tell Kiyotaka’s arm was slipping lower and lower. He could feel something pressing against his ass, which was exactly what he had been hoping for  _ (was he a little worried Kiyotaka couldn’t get it up for a buff dude in a skirt? Sort of, yeah)  _ and he ground down against it. Kiyotaka inhaled sharply, then let one of his hands duck under the hem of Mondo’s skirt. Man was this different, and Mondo loved it.

“Are you—” Kiyotaka breathed, his palm running against Mondo’s bare skin until it reached the band of his thong, “Oh my  _ God. _ And a bra too?” That sounded more amazed than anything.

“Wanna peek?” Mondo asked without thinking, and the idea of it shot a wave of excitement through him. This was so bad. This was so  _ good. _

“Yes, actually.” Kiyotaka’s words were a bit slurred. His lips had smears of pink gloss on them, and his eyes were clouded with what was either desire or hunger or some kind of weird mix. That was fucking hot, actually. Mondo wasn’t too against getting eaten up.

After kicking himself for thinking that, Mondo carefully pushed Kiyotaka back onto the sheets, but Kiyotaka kept himself propped up with his elbows. Gingerly, Mondo lifted up the bottom of the skirt.

White panties. He had to match it to the uniform, or what was the fucking point? Might as well have just slapped on his boxer briefs if he was gonna half-ass it.  _ (Ha ha. Half-ass. He was wearing a thong.) _ The fabric of the panties was framed by lace, and at the center of the top seam was a little pink bow. It really would’ve been cuter if Mondo’s boner wasn’t poking out of it, but he was enjoying this outfit a little too much. At least he’d shaved most of his pubes off. Kiyotaka looked awestruck, which was not what you would’ve expected from someone seeing his weirdass deviant of a boyfriend’s panties. Those perma-furrowed brows were halfway up his forehead.

“Um.” Mondo took a breath. “You can see the bra, too.”

“Please?”

Mondo let go of the skirt, hiking the shirt up as far as it could go without any unbuttoning or unzipping.

The bra was also white, but all lace. Entirely see-through. The wonders of online shopping; it was a godsend that all of it fit as well as it did.  _ (The shirt was a little tight, but livable. Man, did the thong chafe.) _ Kiyotaka lifted a hand up to touch, and Mondo let him.

“Oh goodness.” Kiyotaka said under his breath, his hand trailing from the bra down Mondo’s abs. Mondo was still questioning how such a cutesy bra on his type of body was attractive at all, but Kiyotaka’s face testified enough to how enamored he was by it. “I...wow.”

“Touch me more?” Mondo asked.

“Of course!”

Kiyotaka sat back up and let his hands travel, left one gliding up Mondo’s thigh  _ (sweaty)  _ and the other finding his right pec. His thumb rubbed over Mondo’s nipple, getting a short gasp out of him. At the very least they’d done enough that Mondo wasn’t embarrassed over every noise he made. Their mouths clashed again, teeth and tongue mixed. Mondo’s hands threaded in Kiyotaka’s hair while Kiyotaka’s one hand cupped Mondo’s ass, the other taking its sweet time teasing Mondo’s chest through the fabric of his shirt. Both hands squeezed at what they were holding, Mondo groaned into Kiyotaka’s lips. It was impossible to rut into every spot their bodies touched, but he was making a damn good effort. Kiyotaka was having a much easier time with two thick layers of fabric between them. Mondo’s flimsy panties weren’t doing him any favors, his skirt having folded back, and he was only getting harder with all the friction.

“I need more,” Mondo hissed.

“I, yes! Of course, you, er.” Kiyotaka laughed a little. “You’re...you’re really beautiful like this. Your lip gloss came off, though.”

“I brought it with me.” Mondo fumbled for it on the sheets. He wasn’t too against having more on, especially with what he had planned. He did a messy job of reapplying it, but whatever. “Can I suck you off?”

“Yes.” Kiyotaka wiped some of the gloss off his own face.

Mondo beamed, giving him one more peck on the lips before he scooted off his lap, kneeling down on the ground. Mondo undid the fly of his pants, ducking under the flap of his briefs to let that wonderful dick free.

“Thanks for the meal.”

“You really need to stop saying that before performing fellatio.”

Mondo stuck his tongue out through his teeth, grinning. “Hey, c’mon. Be nice. S’not every day you get blown by a cute girl, is it?” What was he even saying? Giving him no chance to respond, Mondo tilted his head, licking up the length of it.

Kiyotaka gave a long exhale. To his credit, he’d built up a lot of stamina during their escapades. The first couple of times they fucked, Kiyotaka lasted a minute or so before he came. Not completely ridiculous for a guy with zero prior experience  _ (and he meant zero)  _ but still frustrating. Since then, things had gotten pretty good. Kiyotaka lasted, what, ten minutes give-or-take each time? That was an improvement Mondo appreciated.

He started slow, letting his tongue trace along his dick. Mondo’s hand found its way to his panties, the feeling foreign— he was struck with the thought that he didn’t belong in underwear that cute, but he’d feel shitty about that later. He was a little too preoccupied to hate himself. His lips parted, taking the head of Kiyotaka’s dick between them. Kiyotaka’s hand carefully brushed into Mondo’s hair, and he could hear breaths starting to come out funny. Good. His head bobbed, that familiar strain in his jaw, the smell of skin and sweat— it was funny how he’d come to love it. Mondo took what he could into his mouth, the hand not currently feeling himself up curling around the rest of Kiyotaka’s girth. He shot a look up to him to make sure everything was fine and they made eye contact; he was pleased to see how much of a mess Kiyotaka had become. His face had flushed completely with color, his eyebrows drawn up, sweat streaks down his cheeks. Kiyotaka always looked overwhelmed when he was aroused, and it was kinda hot.

His tongue worked against him, head moving slowly up and down. Mondo didn’t want to come yet, so he wasn’t doing too much to himself. Something was immensely satisfying about watching Kiyotaka get off, watching as the thin layer of composure wore down. Kiyotaka sure as hell wasn’t a calm kind of guy, but taking away that last bit of inhibition just felt  _ good. _ Nails scraped against Mondo’s scalp, and the hold on his hair was nearing painful— he felt that in his groin, and he grunted. This still wasn’t enough, not even close to enough, with just Kiyotaka’s dick in his mouth and his fist in his hair it wasn’t  _ anywhere  _ near good enough. His head went as far down as it could, came back up, back down, back up. His hand took care of what didn’t fit. The spit was making it an easier job, slick on the skin, his head came off with a wet noise and his lips dragged back down the side, tongue running along.

“Mondo, I—” Kiyotaka choked. “I’m going to—”

“Come on my face,” Mondo urged. “Please?”

“Well, you,” Pant. “Have been a good boy,” Kiyotaka said, and Mondo’s dick throbbed.  _ Oh, fuck you.  _ “Or girl, I suppose?” Mondo shifted uncomfortably. Man, was this thong tight. “I suppose I can indulge you!”

Mondo’s head was getting cloudy as he tilted himself away, leaving his mouth open. He stuck his tongue out, for good measure. Kiyotaka’s face broke for a moment, and his hand wrapped around his dick. “Goodness, you’re…” He trailed off. Kiyotaka went to work, and Mondo waited oh-so patiently until he came with a gasp.

It was warm. He felt it splatter across the bridge of his nose, could taste it on his tongue— salty, something undeniably profane. As Kiyotaka gradually cooled down, Mondo licked his lips, swallowing. Kiyotaka’s dick was glittering pink from the lip gloss.

“You’re so…” Kiyotaka mused, “Sexy.”

“Are you joking?” Mondo touched his face, dabbing off semen and licking it off his fingers. “You don’t need’a butter me up or anythin’, we’re already dating.”

“No, I mean it.” Kiyotaka sighed happily. “Like an enchantress.”

“An  _ enchantress?”  _ Mondo clumsily got to his feet. Kiyotaka certainly had a way with words. “You got the wrong dude, Taka.”

“I’m talking about the man in front of me,” He said firmly, reaching out and putting his hands on Mondo’s hips and giving a gentle tug. Mondo hated how hot that made him. “Come closer. I’m not done with you yet.”

Oh, no. That was. Mondo obeyed without a second thought, his heart beating uncomfortably hard. It seemed like all the blood was going south, and he could almost feel his pulse along his dick. He was straddling Kiyotaka again, his sense of control waning further. Only Kiyotaka got him like this, and he was stuck between loving it and despising it.

This time Mondo successfully pushed him onto the bed, kissing him hard. His hips moved without any conscious thought, feeling like gravity flipped, feeling like Kiyotaka was the center and Mondo was being pulled against him. Kiyotaka’s hands ran down his back, grabbing his ass. “You really are shameless.” Kiyotaka whispered against his lips, and Mondo responded by grabbing his face and mashing their lips together.

“More,” Mondo’s crotch was rubbing against Kiyotaka’s pants, but like  _ hell _ that’d get him off fast enough. Kiyotaka’s hand creeped to Mondo’s front, navigating the small space between their bodies until it found the waistband of Mondo’s panties and tugged them down. “Please, Kiyo, Kiyotaka, please,  _ ah—” _

Kiyotaka’s hold on him was tight. Each jerk of his wrist made Mondo’s vision fuzzy, and he was vaguely aware of the other hand massaging the back of his thigh. It hurt a little bit, but there was enough spit and lip gloss on Kiyotaka’s hand from jacking himself off to help the process. Being touched felt so  _ good, _ like his head was going to shut down and he was just going to hump him mindlessly until he came. How he got this turned on was a question he could barely answer, but being dressed like this and all those compliments were getting to him a little. He was making noise, but he couldn’t tell if he was saying words or not. His sense of control was on its last legs, and Mondo wasn’t sure he  _ wanted  _ to be Big-Mister-Mean-Buff-Guy anymore. He could deal with being a slutty schoolgirl for a bit. If it felt this good, if Kiyotaka liked it this much, if showing this much skin and feeling the underwear hug those places was that nice, he’d do it again, no problem. It felt amazing, after all. Man, skirts were nice. Easy access. Kiyotaka’s hand felt nice. It always feels nice. “Close,” He choked out, and Kiyotaka hummed in reply. He was clawing at Kiyotaka’s chest, cursing into his lips as he climaxed. He couldn’t think for a few moments after that, but eventually thoughts trickled back in.

“Ohhh God.” Mondo reached back up, swiping his hands from Kiyotaka’s forehead to the back of his head. “God. That was good.”

“You’re certainly enjoying yourself.” He said, leaning his face in and touching their noses together. Oh. That was...pretty sweet. Mondo kissed him, quick and chaste.

“Yeah, well. Everyone’s got weird kinks.” Easy to pass it off as just that. He wasn’t about to mention how wonderful it felt to even  _ barely  _ be considered a girl. Even admitting that in the comfort of his own thoughts was terrifying. Now that he was coming down from his high, that self-hatred was peeking back in. He still felt like a joke, felt like he couldn’t possibly be taken seriously, even if it wasn’t a cheap seifuku. He just felt...wrong.

He didn’t belong. He couldn’t.  _ You have to be a man, Mon-chan.  _ He knew that, and it would be spitting on his brother’s grave to break that promise. He shouldn’t do this, shouldn’t indulge this, he knew that, but…

“I could get used to this.” Kiyotaka said, giving Mondo’s ass a fond pat. “Are there tissues anywhere— oh, thank goodness.”

Why did Kiyotaka just accept this? Was this not gross to him? Mondo, 187 cm, 76 kg muscle man Mondo, in a skirt, wearing make up, being  _ feminine— _ this wasn’t disgusting him? Why wasn’t he laughing at him? Why in hell’s name would he compliment him so much? If there was one thing Mondo knew, it was that he had to be strong. And this? Skirts, submissive, being what he had beaten down for so long...that was bad, wasn’t it? Wasn’t he awful for indulging himself like this, awful for letting down his guard and being anything but the badass leader of the Crazy Diamonds?

Mondo was confused, pressing his face into Kiyotaka’s neck as the latter struggled to reach the tissue box on the nightstand. Mondo hated this part of himself more than anything, and Kiyotaka didn’t even bat an eyelash. He was always like this, blowing Mondo out of the water with how casual and accepting he was of all his weaknesses. Things his gang would’ve killed him for, that would’ve even made Yukimaru look at him weird— Kiyotaka accepted all of it without hesitation.

He guessed that this was love, then. Like, real, actual love. Or something like that.

“Mondo?” He had managed to scoot the both of them  _ (even though Mondo was pretty heavy)  _ over enough so he could grab a tissue, wiping his hand off. “I want to try something.”

“Huh?” Mondo lifted his head up. “Whatcha got in mind?” He pretended he wasn’t just thinking about stupid bullshit. 

“Can I…” He coughed politely. “Your...chest, I was thinking…”

“My chest?” Oho? Mondo smirked. “What about it?”

“Well, you know! I was thinking that perhaps I could…”

“Youuu could what?” Mondo drew a circle into Kiyotaka’s shirt with his finger.

“Oh, come now! Don’t play this game!”

Mondo batted his eyelashes. “Nah, man! I really don’t know whatcha mean! Please, ya gotta be straightforward with me, or I won’t get it. I’m stupid, remember?”

Kiyotaka’s face was gaining color again. “Don’t you ‘catch my drift’?” Complete with air quotes.

“No, I so don’t.”

Kiyotaka gave him a look, his face going red rapidly. Mondo let out a bark of laughter, slamming his palm on Kiyotaka’s chest.

“Stop teasing me!” Kiyotaka souanded indignant.

“I can’t help it! S’too fuckin’ funny! Here I am, in a goddamn skirt, ‘n you’re all embarrassed about fuckin’ my tits!”

“You don’t have to say it so vulgarly!”

“Oh, uh, ‘scuse me. You wanna rub your penis on my pectorals or whatever.” Mondo rolled his eyes, then poked at his boyfriend’s face. “Oi. Don’t pout at me.”

“You’re too cruel!”

“Am I really?”

“Yes!”

“Maaaybe I can make it up to ya?”

“...I’ll think about it?”

“We could do this chest thing. ‘N anything else.” Mondo winked.

“Anything...else?”

“Hell yeah. You can do whatever you want to me. However you want it.”

Kiyotaka blinked, presumably mulling this over in his head. Mondo could definitely feel that hardon starting to press a bit against his stomach. Just a few words and he was getting Kiyotaka riled up again, huh? That was cute. He got up on his hands.

“So! You wanna do this thing, then?”

“Yes! Er. Of course!”

“How’re we doin’ it.”

“Well, probably you kneeling in front of me, and I stand.”

“Christ, my knees are gonna hurt from bein’ on ‘em so much today.”

Mondo rolled off of his boyfriend, watching as he got to his feet. It was just hanging there. Half-mast. Tantalizing. Mondo rested on his side, removing his thong with precious little grace.

“I’ll make it worth your while! I was thinking perhaps we could get some ramen afterwards! Oh, you should take off your shirt.” Kiyotaka was as casual as ever, and Mondo got busy pulling off the tie and messing with the snaps on the collar. He felt a seam pop as he tugged it over his shoulders, but whatever. He could sew that back up. Easy. Maybe even glue it.

As he went to unhook his bra  _ (which was a fucking ordeal of its own) _ Kiyotaka made a noise of dissent. “No! Leave it on.” Mondo lifted his eyebrows and lowered his hands. So that was how they were gonna play this? He got off the bed, scratching his cheek.

“Alright, so are we just gonna go at it?”

“Of course not, I…” A pause. “Do...we have lotion?”

“I think there’s some complimentary shit in the bathroom.” Mondo replied.

“Perfect! Can you go grab it?” He nodded.

As he walked by, Kiyotaka seemed to consider something, and then, abruptly, slapped Mondo’s ass with enough force to make him stumble. Mondo yelped, and then whipped his head around to glare at him.

_ “What the shitting fuck are you—” _

“Ahhh! I’m sorry! I thought it was a good idea!”

Mondo’s face was  _ burning. _ He straightened his skirt.

“...Pervert.” He turned his head away. Now  _ he  _ was getting into it. Oh, god. Impulsive shit like that, that really got him—

He was in the bathroom again, and his bag of make-up was still lying on the counter where he left it, its contents spilled across the surface. He spotted the little kit of not-so-subtle amenities after a few seconds of scanning the mess of products, and he plucked the lotion out of the basket and walked back out.

Kiyotaka was standing by the wall, pants and underwear pulled down. He’d softened up a bit, but it was still  _ there,  _ looking so goddamn perfect, the nicest dick Mondo had ever seen in his life. He must’ve been staring, because Kiyotaka cleared his throat, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

Dammit. Caught red-handed. He attempted to play it cool. “Okay, so I’m guessing you—”

“If you could hand me the—”

“Yeah, totally.”

“And could you kneel?”

“Yep.”

Mondo got on his knees, adjusting his skirt. Wearing a skirt without underwear was more than nice, but he wasn’t about to get caught up thinking stupid things again.

Kiyotaka uncapped it, squeezing some lotion onto his palm. He spread it onto his dick, and Mondo, who was at a pretty nice height for the task, watched as he did.

“Are you drooling?”

Mondo wiped his mouth. Well, shit.

“So, basically, you want me to like...up ‘n down?” Mondo gestured.

“Yes, that’s the gist of it! Do you want to put some lotion on your chest? I’m sure it’d help!”

“Yeah, sure.”

It was kind of cold. The lotion, that is. He spread it wherever the bra wasn’t, and took a deep breath. This was gonna be a whole lot of moving on his part  _ (normally he just sat on his ass and let Kiyotaka do whatever)  _ but, hey. He needed to burn the calories, probably. It was too cute how much Kiyotaka loved his chest— and there it was, those stupid thoughts were creeping back in. Kiyotaka’s attentions as their relationship developed seemed to be centered around things most men would find insulting.  _ You’re so beautiful, Mondo. You look so pretty tonight. You have such long eyelashes.Your chest is incredible.   _ The list goes on. Whether Mondo was dropping hints he didn’t notice or Kiyotaka was just weird, he didn’t know. But did it matter?

Kiyotaka knew him too well, knew every bit of him without Mondo saying anything. Kiyotaka was always picking up what Mondo was putting down, always beaming at him and patting his shoulder and gleaming like some shitty ray of sunshine. It was so nice, Mondo was almost able to put up with the constant sniffing after he worked out and the lectures about his future— oh, who was Mondo kidding? He liked that stuff. He liked that Kiyotaka wanted Mondo to go to college. He liked that Kiyotaka thought so highly of him. And it was cute that Kiyotaka had some weird musk fetish, too. He was a gross little monster, and Mondo loved him.

Kiyotaka liked the feminine things about Mondo, didn’t he? Could Mondo really deny that? Kiyotaka always complimented those things, and Mondo...Mondo didn’t know what to think of it. Everything Mondo was nervous about...Kiyotaka liked it.

He looked up, and Kiyotaka nodded with a look of anticipation. Mondo ducked in and pressed a quick kiss to the head of Kiyotaka’s dick. He felt him flinch, heard that strangled squeak, and he grinned.

With a shift of weight, Mondo took Kiyotaka’s dick in his hand, rising on his knees and leaning forward. It was happily trapped between their bodies; Mondo angled his arms so that his chest had a bit more squeeze to it. Kiyotaka whimpered.

“You all good up there, buddy?” Mondo asked, and Kiyotaka made a noise somewhat like a dying motorcycle engine. “Is that a good noise or a bad noise.” Kiyotaka scrunched his face together.

“G-Good. Very good.”

That was what he wanted to hear. He rocked back, trying to find some kind of rhythm. It was a little awkward moving, but Kiyotaka was clearly enjoying it, the top of his face tightened around the bridge of his nose and the bottom hanging open. Mondo wrapped his arms around Kiyotaka’s legs, and Kiyotaka’s hands tangled themselves in his bleached hair. His face was nearing that dangerous shade of red, and Mondo couldn’t help but feel a little proud of it. If Kiyotaka could get Mondo all hot and bothered, it was nice to know Mondo could do the same back. It was a strangely soft kind of feeling, the feeling that Mondo being himself was sexy to Kiyotaka, that his body was sexy and that Kiyotaka could legitimately get off with nothing but his chest.

That was kinda cool. He liked that. Made him feel good.

The heat between their bodies slid nicely against the lotion. He was watching Kiyotaka again, fumbling under his skirt with the hand he used to spread the stuff. He was a little worried about losing his balance, but this was just too  _ good,  _ he couldn’t just watch Kiyotaka lose his mind like this and  _ not  _ get turned on.

“F, faster, please.” Kiyotaka choked out, and Mondo complied. His wrist and his body were moving in a little bit of closer time now, and he took comfort in the fact that this was kind of like a work out.

If Mondo was supposedly so sexy, it was worth mentioning that Kiyotaka’s toned body and squared out frame was hot as  _ hell.  _ Kiyotaka was a real man— something Mondo should’ve been jealous of, but instead found incredibly attractive. Kiyotaka was harsh angles and wiry black hair and solid as stone. Mondo had come what felt like hundreds of times just thinking about Kiyotaka, how concrete he was, how unshakeable and built and powerful he was, how that body could turn him into putty with ease.

Kiyotaka, at the moment, was mumbling incomprehensible encouragement, his eyes screwed shut. Mondo would be lying if that wasn’t hot in itself, Kiyotaka reaching the end of his rope. Kiyotaka was a real stuck-up prick sometimes, but moments like these where he was barely able to speak? Mondo didn’t take them for granted. He didn’t need to dominate Kiyotaka or push him around or anything, just driving him nuts with his tits was perfectly fine by him. Besides, Mondo needed a place where he didn’t have to be the strongest person in the room.

His thoughts gradually got less coherent. Kiyotaka being so manly appealed to that femininity that Mondo had tried so desperately to hide. Kiyotaka was just...a manly guy, y’know? He looked like a man. Smelled like one. Acted like one. And none of it was any kind of cover, or defense. It was just him. Just how he was, stubborn and assertive and firm muscles. Would’ve pissed him off a bit if Kiyotaka was bigger than him, maybe turned him on a bit that Kiyotaka was shorter than him. Having a smaller guy take control was sort of cool. Also the whole...delinquent thing. Playing up that whole “You’re a shitty delinquent and I gotta discipline you” thing was great. Maybe next time they could do that. Senior year was busy for Kiyotaka— he had college to worry about and all, and that left less time for them to fuck around. Aw, man. Mondo was gonna have to follow him to college, wasn’t he?

He considered how nice it would be to have good morning sex like, every morning if they lived together. When Kiyotaka got stressed out, his libido seemed to spike. In fact, Kiyotaka had been the one championing this whole excursion, and it wasn’t a coincidence that midterms were rearing their ugly heads soon.

“I, I think I’m,” Kiyotaka raised a trembling hand to wipe at the spit on his chin. “I’m going to, I’m close, and I’m, I’m going,”

“Do it.” Mondo’s hand sped up on himself, and his hips jerked as he continued to slide their bodies against each other. He dug the nails of his other hand into Kiyotaka’s side. “Don’t hold back, jus’ gimme it.”

As it turned out, he was holding back. Kiyotaka gave a garbled cry as he came, almost instantly after Mondo gave the okay.  Mondo sank back onto his ankles and made quick work of himself. He groaned Kiyotaka’s name as he came onto the latter’s feet.

After they cleaned up, the two decided to relax on the bed. Mondo was on his stomach next to Kiyotaka, hugging a pillow.

“I think I needed that.” Kiyotaka said, his hands folded over his stomach. “That was refreshing! I feel renewed!”

“Okay, weirdo.” Mondo bumped him with his elbow. “You really are crazy about my tits, huh.”

“Well...of course I am! They’re magnificent!”

“...Was I really pretty?”

Mondo dreaded the answer.

Ever since he was a little kid, he’d felt...different. Sure, he liked boy things. Sure, he liked working out, he liked motorcycles. But he never...felt like a boy. It always felt like something that wasn’t his. Something he was playing along with.

It wasn’t an issue of liking pink, necessarily. It wasn’t that he wanted the frills and bows. It was that being that overly effeminate gay man felt right. That the closer he got to being a girl, the more comfortable he felt. That constantly shoving himself into the role of some macho-manly biker dude just tired him out and made him hate himself more.

His complexes were rooted in that feeling. Daiya made him promise to be a man, to lead the gang in his place. Daiya didn’t want him to get hurt. The world was scary, infinitely scary for someone like Mondo. He didn’t know it when he was little, but any man who wasn’t really a man on the inside was subject to ridicule and abuse. He learned that when he was older. It just made him want to hide behind that facade more.

But he was so tired.

He hated being like this. He hated being a man. He hated being strong, and he hated even more that he wasn’t what everyone wanted him to be. He couldn’t juggle both pleasing everyone around him and making himself feel at home in his own body. He couldn’t get away with smashing mirrors all the time in his fits of rage or his mother would eventually catch on that his ‘phase’ as a child wasn’t just a phase. Mondo was never strong, Mondo was never a man. And the harder he worked to shove it down, the nastier he felt. It was festering inside him, and he didn’t know how much longer he’d last before he’d explode.

Sometimes, he was jealous of Chihiro. Jealous of his hormone imbalances, of that he naturally looked feminine. He was jealous that Chihiro was more of a man than Mondo ever could’ve been. Sometimes that soured their relationship in a way Mondo couldn’t explain, and sometimes he worried he’d take it out on Chihiro.

How much longer would this last? Would it finally die, or would he finally burst? Playing the gay man eased his heart a bit, but it just made him hungry for more. And Kiyotaka...Kiyotaka, he never...

“Of course you were! You still are, really. Or, rather...you always are. To me, at least!” Kiyotaka tilted his head. “Is that strange?”

“I’unno.” Mondo didn’t look at him. “...But like, really pretty?”

“Yes!”

“It wasn’t weird I was in a skirt?”

“No, I liked it!”

“Even with my long face?”

“Your...what?”

“I said, even with my long face.”

Kiyotaka blinked. “I don’t think your face is particularly long, Mondo.”

“Answer the damn question, smartass.”

“You looked great.” Kiyotaka reached over, tucking some hair behind Mondo’s ear. “Radiant as always, my sweet.”

Mondo had half a mind to deck him. Instead, he turned his head away, cheeks red.

“...Fucker.”

“What! It was a compliment!”

“Shithead.”

“Mondo…”

Kiyotaka accepted him. He almost didn’t even need to tell him. He knew right away that Kiyotaka would try, that Kiyotaka would call him any name he wanted, that if he stopped being he and was she instead, that if she asked Kiyotaka to call her his girlfriend and if she asked for him to see her as who she was inside...

“...I love you.”

“Oh!”

“I love you so fuckin’ much, you little jerk.”

Mondo rolled onto him, kissing him square on the lips.

“Mondo—” Mondo continued to assault him with kisses, holding his head in place. “Mondo! Let me—” No way. Mondo wasn’t going to let him keep complimenting her. Kiyotaka was starting to laugh, and Mondo could feel a smile creep onto her features. Kiyotaka gently pressed Mondo’s head down with one hand, and their lips met for something careful. Something that made Mondo feel a little weak, and she wasn’t sure she hated it.

“I love you too!” Kiyotaka said, and his smile made Mondo’s heart tremble. “Do you want to take a bath together? Then we could go get some ramen! I’ve been in the mood to have miso ramen lately, and I saved up enough money to get a bowl this weekend—”

It was at this moment Mondo noticed something strange.

“...Dude, do you have a boner?”

“Huh? I— I don’t— Do I?”

Mondo furrowed her brow.

“...Was the whole reason you got a boner earlier because you were thinkin’ about ramen?”

“Ah. Well…”

“When I said you could do what you wanted…’n you were thinkin’ about ramen…”

Kiyotaka refused to make eye contact.

“Why the fuck are you so weird?!” Mondo slapped her hands onto Kiyotaka’s cheeks, squishing them together. “Who the fuck gets a boner thinkin’ about food?! What the fuck!”

“It founded tafty—”

Mondo pulls his cheeks apart. “You little shit! I thought you were gettin’ excited about me!”

“Mondo…! I do get excited thinking about you!”

“But y’get  _ more  _ excited thinkin’ about some fuckin’  _ ramen—” _

“Are you really getting jealous of a food!”

“Yeah! I am! If you’re gonna get boners thinkin’ about ramen more than me, I’m gonna get jealous!”

“I love you more than any food, Mondo!”

“Oh, really, now!”

The two continued to bicker for a bit, eventually deciding to take the bath. Mondo wasn’t really that angry, in the end. They got ramen that night, and as Kiyotaka plowed through his second bowl of miso ramen, Mondo couldn’t help but wish she felt like whatever pretty person Kiyotaka saw her as.

She wondered if she’d tell him soon.

She wondered if it was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> wow! two fics one right after the other? crazy!  
> uh. i'm so.  
> this was so self indulgent lmfao i'm not expecting more than like 2 kudos. did you know this was almost 13 pages long? if you got through this you're a trooper and i'm also, sorry  
> thank you shaqfu for the beta!! i couldn't subject sink to this without immense guilt  
> (also, wouldn't it make sense for chihiro to have hormone imbalances/issues? that would explain why he hasn't physically become more masculine in the 3 years since he started at hope's peak. y'know?)
> 
> EDIT: so apparently this has spawned a whole lot of discourse on tumblr so let me make a few things clear. i wrote this to have an outlet for my own dysphoria (i'm a transman not a transwoman though) because i too used crossdressing as a means to express myself while staying in the closet. if mondo being submissive sexually makes you uncomfortable, don't read my works then. and if mondo's heavily dysphoric ass (which is canon, mind you!!! sorry but if a fictional character's gender identity is in such a precarious place it makes them commit a murder i have grounds to think they aren't cis) somehow reads as not trans to you and if someone who doesn't pass makes you uncomfortable to read as transgender, i'd prefer you not interact with my works in general. i'm not gonna spill my whole life story in the notes here, but if people who don't pass well enough for you make you uncomfortable, maybe the problem doesn't lie with the headcanon. i myself have examined my headcanon and thought "am i doing this because of internalized homophobia? am i trying to make it straight?" but i'm not, because mondo's narrative spoke to me especially as a transgender person and i wanted to put that into words. i don't like writing for the sake of my own sexual satisfaction-- i've grown up asexual my entire life (only now changing because of testosterone), and i only write for my own feelings and to put the things i can't tell people in person in words. you can dislike my work but if you call my identity into question because you can't fathom mondo oowada being trans, i don't want my name in your mouth.  
> anyway that was a lot of rambling but i felt the need to put this in here, especially considering there's probably gonna be a BOOM of spitefics against me. :) but yeah! just proves what kind of people they are if vanilla sex with a trans woman is somehow offensive to them.  
> i'd like to also note that my base for mondo fics are always comedy, so some of the lines are more comedic than they are true to what she's feeling. (that's also how i view myself and talk about myself.) describing something so personal to myself in mondo's pov ends up always coming out as comedy, and i apologize for that! neither mondo or i are capable of being honest, and i always try to make it funny when i am.


End file.
